Tuesday, November 27, 2012


I sit in calculus class, staring at the clock. Calculus and I have a love-hate relationship, to say the least. It's consistently my highest grade, because I put the most effort into it. I come in before school to check answers on the homework and do test corrections, and my textbook has pretty much become my left arm. Somehow, after hating math classes consistently through high school, calculus has turned it around so much that I've signed up for higher level maths at the UWC.

On the other hand, I want to shred my notebook and scream every night, around midnight, when I realize I've got another two hours of calculus homework, and barely enough energy to keep my eyes open. I get frustrated when I don't understand. Admittedly, I fail some assignments, and practically give myself a hernia stressing about how I'm going to learn the concepts I still don't understand, while continuing to build on them with new materials.

It doesn't really matter whether I know the material, because I'm not taking the AP test, or the final. I'll be retaking all of this in college in a few years anyways.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm putting in all this effort, when I don't actually need to be here. Why am I bothering to go to TWO extra years of high school?

And then I remember that I'm being handed a free education for a few months. I don't HAVE to sit in the back of a calculus classroom scribbling down integrals like mad. I GET to have my mind blown by "the calculus," as we so lovingly call it. I GET to have my mind blown, each an every day, by physics, government, business, not one, but TWO English classes, and calculus!

However much I hate school sometimes, having it be "optional" for a few months has made me remember that my education is a privilege, not a right, and I'd better be taking advantage of it.

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